For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
