I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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