you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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