WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
