Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize