I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
