He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
