got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
