I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Come on in and take your pants off
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