We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
