I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
