So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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