i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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