To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
