doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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