I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
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