i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
