He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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