you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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