i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Best friends brother. Beat that.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
