please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
