it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
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