does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
