she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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