HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
