so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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