Barsexuality is the new black.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
