Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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