my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I have surprise drugs for everyone
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
