what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
