I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
