My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I have aggressive nipples.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
