Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I don't think brook has ever known best
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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