Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
third nipple confirmed
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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