i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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