worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
