Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
