why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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