help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
