Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
