oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
