i used baking grease as lip gloss
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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