i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
