she was so not down for the gang bang
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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