when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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