just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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