sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
