She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Randomize
