i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
