I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
