doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
