Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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