I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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