Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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