he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
All the doctor said was why
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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