i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
