Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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