Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
