If i come over, it means nothing
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just pynch a tree in the face
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
